A securely attached partner might know how to soothe the situation, but an avoidant one certainly doesn’t. Tragically, this avoidant party triggers every insecurity known to their anxious lover. Under pressure to be warmer and more connected, the avoidant partner instinctively withdraws and feels overwhelmed and hounded. They go cold and disconnect from the situation, only further ramping up their partner’s anxiety. Underneath their silence, the avoidant one resents feeling, as they put it, ‘controlled’; they have the impression of being harassed,
