What You Wish For

by Katherine Center

“Dude—I’m not happy because it comes easily to me. I bite and scratch and claw my way toward happiness every day.” Duncan squinted at me, like that almost made sense. “It’s a choice,” I went on, feeling like I needed to make him see. “A choice to value the good things that matter. A choice to rise above everything that could pull you down. A choice to look misery right in the eyes … and then give it the finger.” “So it’s a hostile kind of joy.” He was mocking me. “Sometimes,” I said defiantly. “Is that a real thing though?” “It’s a deliberate kind of joy. It’s a conscious kind of joy. It’s joy on purpose.” Duncan squinted like he really wasn’t sold. “In clown socks and a tutu.” “I’m telling you. I know all about darkness. That’s why I am so hell-bent, every damn day, on looking for the light.”