“Hello, little miss. Correct me if I’m wrong, but are you having a shitty day?” When she stares at me blankly, mouth agape, I continue, “Then you need the new and improved Mason Medusa. Satisfaction guaranteed. If he breaks, or if he doesn’t perform to your standards, feel free to return him to get a full refund. And if you act fast, I’ll throw in a Frankie as well.”
