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My eyes closed, and I fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.
My heart caved inside my chest at that look, and I walked over to him, kneeling between his legs. He spread his thighs wider, encasing me against his body.
He entwined our fingers together and clutched onto me. I squeezed his hands back. I’m here, Maddox. I’m here, and I’m not leaving. Me and you, forever.
I stood up, and he pulled me into his lap. Maddox buried his face in my neck. “I got you,” I said, softly in his ear. His grip tightened on me.
But friends didn’t look at each other the way we did.
“I have you,” he muttered softly, and his arm tightened around my waist.
I curled my arms behind his neck, and our foreheads pressed together. His lips brushed against the tip of my nose, and my eyes fluttered close.
“Lila asked,” he grumbled, running his fingers through his hair. “I couldn’t say no.”
“If I love you, I give you the power to destroy me. I’m not strong enough for that. I can’t be just another girl to you, Maddox. I need to be more; I deserve more, and I don’t think you can give that. I
can’t risk us and what we are. We’re beautiful… just like this. Friends.”
“Friends?” he asked in a low voice. I hooked my pinky around his. “Friends.” We both lied to ourselves, but it was better that way. It had to be.
“If there’s a God, He doesn’t want me to be happy. Maybe it’s my fault because I pushed you into the arms of another man. But He won’t let me have you even though I begged him to let me love you freely. I can’t remember the last time I asked Him for something. I guess... I’m not meant to have what I want. My parents. A family. You. You. You,” Maddox whispered in my ear, his voice a low rasp.
We were more than friends but less than lovers. That was our relationship; there was no real definition.
He didn’t pull away, didn’t breathe, didn’t say a word. A line had been crossed, and we both knew it.
“I dare you to stay.” His lips touched mine again. Kiss. My heart stuttered. “I dare you to give us a chance.” Kiss. I forgot how to breathe. “I dare you, Lila.”
If it hurts you so much, what kind of love is this?
I took a step back. Maddox looked wounded, and my soul bled to see him hurt.
