To be a Gay Man

by Will Young

We often hear people say ‘self-love’, but I prefer the term ‘self-empathy’. For me, self-love is potentially shaming, while self-empathy is loving in a different way. It’s looking at my past with everything I had to endure; all my experiences of pain and sadness. Empathy for oneself, I believe, is the key to healing past shame and trauma. It allows one to really access and understand what has happened in the past. It allows one to observe and offer deep acceptance and validation. This is the key. This is what is needed, in my opinion, for one to integrate into life and flourish into that butterfly stage. We are uplifted by empathy because we are listening to our own pain and allowing ourselves to be present for it. Empathy is where we can find a rock from which to view our life.