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I wonder if humans are the only living creatures that ever feel hollow inside. I don’t understand how my body can be full of everything bodies are full of—bones and muscles and blood and organs—yet my chest sometimes feels vacant, as if someone could scream into my mouth and it would echo inside of me.
Jenny. My little sister—my
if we weren’t sisters, we would hate each other. She’d find me boring and I’d find her annoying, but because we’re sisters, and only twelve months apart, our differences somehow work.
real, but make it 5 years
I’d rather blend in with the wallpaper and quietly enjoy people-watching than be the one standing on a table in the center of a room, being the one people are watching.
I reach into Jonah’s console and grab one of the watermelon Jolly Ranchers he always leaves behind. Watermelon is the best flavor. I don’t understand how anyone could hate it, but apparently he does.
they already sound in love
Soda tastes so much better than alcohol,
real
“You know what they say. Opposites attract.” Jonah shrugs. I find it odd that he shrugs at that. He stares at me for a moment, then looks away
oop he is in love w her. TEAAAAA!
In a way, he’s right. Drunk Morgan is way better than sober Morgan.” Jonah looks at me pointedly. “I wholeheartedly disagree with that.”
AH!
Sometimes when we’re alone, he looks at me in a way that makes me feel empty when he looks away.
It’s like my chest has been on a constant search for its missing piece, and Jonah is holding it in his fist.
I don’t even know that Chris is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
girl…you done just said you’re in love w him
“I think you’ll make a great dad someday.” I don’t know why I say that. Maybe I’m testing the waters. Seeing what his reaction will be. He laughs. “Hell yeah, I will. Clara is gonna love me.” I tilt my head. “Clara?” “My future daughter. I’ve already named her. Still working on a boy name, though.”
that’s so attractive omg
wearing a bra twice before washing it is almost as bad as wearing the same pair of underwear two days in a row.
excuse me???????????
“I’m not telling my girlfriend I caught a ride with you,” he says. “It’ll turn into a three-hour interrogation.” “Sounds like a fun and healthy relationship.” “It is, when I’m not being interrogated.”
LOLLLLLL
“Gramps!” Miller snaps, quickly cutting him off. “Take a nap. It’s been five minutes since your last one.”
HAHAHAHA
I should be happy right now, but something is off. I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe I’m getting bored. Or worse. Maybe I’m boring.
He never ate the watermelon ones. It was his least favorite flavor, and my favorite, so he always left the watermelon for me.
prediction: watermelon is his fav but he knows it’s her fav too so he saves them for her
It’s like we’re living in a nightmare—one where we don’t want to eat or drink or speak. A nightmare where all we want to do is scream, but nothing comes out of our hollow throats.
and before I know it, I’ll forget how their voices sounded and what their faces looked like in person.
“Don’t worry about it. Family gets in free. If anyone asks, tell them you’re my sister.” “I’d almost rather pay than pretend we’re siblings.”
friendzoned big time…yikes
Miller makes me a large bag of popcorn as I wipe away my mascara. “You want butter?” “Lots of it.”
she knows
I like that the thought of us being relatives repulses him.
<3
“How’s the movie?” “I don’t know. I’m thinking about cutting off my hair.”
me all day every day
Has she always been a jealous person? Or did you do something to make her that way? Miller: She’s not a jealous person. She’s only jealous when it comes to you. Me: What?! Why? Miller: It’s a long story. A boring one. Good night, Clara.
AH.
Don’t save me under a fake name. I don’t want to be Jason in your phone and I don’t want to be your fake sibling at the movie theater. Call me someday when I can just be Clara.
YESSSSS! STAND UP
we both know how good you are at ignoring what’s right in front of you!”
omg
“Will you do me a favor?” I ask him. “Depends on what it is.” “When you become a famous director someday, will you make sure the coffee cups actually have liquid in them when actors hold them in scenes?” Miller laughs at this. Loudly. “That is my biggest pet peeve,” he says. “They’re always empty. And when they set them down, you can hear the hollowness of the cup when it hits the table.”
PEOPLE WHO GET IT
“Earlier, when you called yourself my backup plan, I wanted to laugh. Because if anything, Shelby was my backup plan to you.” A reserved smile spreads across his face. “I’ve had a thing for you for almost three years.”
SCREAMINGGG. THE YEARN!!!
“I’ve believed in you since the moment I met you. I believe in myself now that I’ve finally left you.”
“Next time you have a day off, I’m going to spend it with you.” “Promise?” I hold up my pinkie, and she grips it
oh no
“I don’t have a girlfriend anymore.” Miller looks at me. “Or maybe I have a new one?”
oh high schoolers. so awkward
“Your mother hates me.” He casually opens a can of soda and takes a drink. I’m not going to sugarcoat it and tell him he’s wrong. “That makes two of us.” He swings his head in my direction. “You both hate me?”
HAHAHAH
“My dad left when I was three. I have no idea what he looks like.” I can see Lexie’s eyebrow rise, albeit very subtly. “Mine too. Christmas Day.” “That explains the attitude,” Efren says. Lexie shrugs. “I don’t know. I think I had this attitude before I was three. It’s probably why he left.” Efren agrees with a nod. “Probably. If we start dating, don’t get used to me being around, because I’ll probably get tired of your attitude and leave too.”
I’M SO DEAD HAHAHA
Jonah swallows, and then in a rough whisper he says, “I’ve never hated watermelon Jolly Ranchers. I only saved them because I knew they were your favorite.”
Ahhh, I knew it !!
You didn’t have to stand on the sidelines and watch the girl you were in love with build a life with your best friend.” Those words leave me breathless.
ermmmm…. Yeah, me too 🥵
It’s hard to admit something out loud to someone else that you’ve only just admitted to yourself.
THIS
He doesn’t stop until his body and his mouth are both pressed firmly against mine.
AH!
“Sometimes you have to walk away from the fight in order to win it.”
omg
“I’m not asking you to fall in love with me, Morgan. You already love me. I’m just asking you to give that a chance.”
CONFIDENT KING!!
“It’s okay, you don’t have to say it. I love you too.”
GIDDY
But Jonah isn’t Chris, and I need to stop comparing them. It’s unfair to Chris.
OMG HAHAHAAH
“I’m sorry I’m crazy.”
me
“But heartache builds character. Remember?” “So does being in love,” he says.
Even at seventeen years old, I still feel all the comforts of childhood when I’m sick and my mother takes care of me.
me at 25
if the tables were reversed.
If the roles were reversed? if the tables we’re turned? sus
I’m confident that I’ll never spend a single second of my life regretting you.”
*snaps*
