Amanda Guthrie-Bare

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“Accountability,” Jimmy says. Four ways they get into a moment of fatal peril. The first is denial. “I didn’t do it. It wasn’t me.” The next is minimize. “To lessen the impact of my violence,” he tells them. Words like “but” and “only” are clues. “I only hit her once. I only pushed her a little. But she came at me first.” Blame and collusion are the other two ways. “She hit me first,” he says. “She was in my face.” That’s blame. Collusion is, say another guy is sitting there beside you. “Oh, dog, you going to let her talk to you like that? Yo, man, if I was you, I’d let her know what’s what.”
No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us
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