No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us

by Rachel Louise Snyder

Then, in between weeks and months of some good times, and some not-so-good times, you might hear how he knows men look at you, he sees other men looking at you. You might even feel complimented by this. But then maybe he follows it up with a request that you stay home with him a little more. Maybe this, too, is for your “protection.” And that one friend you have, the loud one? He knows she doesn’t like him. And before you even realize it’s happening that friend’s falling away from your life. Then, a couple of years in, he loses his job, comes home in a mood, pushes you into a wall. And you know that’s not him, not really. You’ve been with him awhile now. Anyone would feel bad, losing a job. And he apologized, right? Seemed truly remorseful. And then the next month it’s a slap, a backhanded shove, another thrown plate. But neither the control nor the abuse tend to come at once, lit up like a punch. They leak out slowly over time like radon.