I, Claudius (Claudius, #1)
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“Then exaggerate your limp, stammer deliberately, sham sickness frequently, let your wits wander, jerk your head and twitch with your hands on all public or semi-public occasions. If you could see as much as I can see, you would know that this was your only hope of safety and eventual glory.”
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As was the custom in such cases, the pear tree was charged with murder and sentenced to be uprooted and burned.