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Alice: How long is forever? White Rabbit: Sometimes one second.
“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”
“Do you ever feel broken and lonely, Killian?” she asks softly. “Every damn day,”
As I watch her walk into her building, I can’t help but wonder just how many layers of Giselle there are hidden deep down under the surface. And then I shock the hell out of myself when my next thought is that I’m pretty sure I want to see every one of those hidden layers.
“I think you use my wife for food,” Dylan accuses lightheartedly. “Hell yes, I do,” I admit as we head to the dining room. “You know I can’t cook, and your wife can.” “Maybe it’s time you got a wife of your own,” Dylan says with a laugh.
I feel the wetness of her touch, and it sends a chill through my body. I did this. I made her cry. I’m such a fucking asshole.
If everyone minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.
“You don’t know shit, Killian. Don’t you dare make assumptions or pretend to know anything about me or my life.”
“I think she’s in over her head, Kill, but she won’t let Olivia in. I know you don’t understand why I won’t push for Olivia and Reed to move out, but that woman was there for Olivia when I wasn’t. I owe her. She’s not just her best friend. She’s her family, which means she’s my family.”
When I pleasure her, I want it to be when she’s of her right mind and not feeling exposed and vulnerable.
“I just want to feel connected to someone. I’m tired of feeling so alone.”
Her hair is messy from sleep, her face free of all makeup, and she looks gorgeous as hell.
“We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad,” she says through a fit of giggles, and the melodic sound has me grinning hard.
She continues to play the music loud, singing along to each of the songs. Her voice is horrible, and she sings completely off tune, yet I find myself wanting to take a detour, so she’ll keep singing for several more hours. I like this version of the woman next to me. The playful, outgoing, doesn’t-have-a-care-in-the-world Giselle is how she should always be.
“Stay the night with me.” Her eyes go wide. “Not for sex. Let’s have dinner, watch some crappy television, and when we’re tired, we’ll go to sleep.” “Why?” she asks. “Because when you’re around I don’t feel so broken or lonely.”
“When are you going to let me reciprocate?”
“When you make the choice to want me.”
“All right,” he concedes. “But my bed will miss having you in it.” I release a giggle. “Your bed or you?” “Me…definitely me.”
“When you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark,”
Good morning, beautiful, Going to the gym with Nick. There’s coffee waiting for you. I’ll be back soon. Xo Killian
She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. “Killian,” I whisper, my throat clogged with heavy emotion. “Everybody is broken, Giselle,” he says, “but not everybody handles it with such strength and beauty.”
“I told her I couldn’t continue to let you pay for my services. That when you fall in love with a man…” She chokes on a sob. “When you fall in love with a man, you don’t request payment from him.” It takes a second for what she said to soak into my brain. Fuck. Me. She quit her job. For me. She’s fallen in love with me.
“Please forgive me. I was a damn fool. A fool who was too blinded by his love for you to see that you were always mine.” “You love me too?” she whispers. A single tear escapes down her cheek and I use my thumb to wipe it away. “I do. I love you, baby.”
“I don’t want to fuck you,” I say, repeating my earlier words. “I want to make love to you.”
And for the first time, I know what it feels like for a man to make love to me.
“Mrs. Winters,” Dr. Clay says, “have you spoken to your counselor about your feelings regarding this matter?” “I have,” Mom says. “We’re agreeing to disagree at the moment.” Dr. Clay laughs. “Okay, please make sure you continue to speak your thoughts.
“Will you throw the ball to me, baby?” I ask her, holding the ring up for her to see.
We’re all broken, filled with imperfections, scars from the wounds life has inflicted on us. Being with you has shown me that it’s not about trying to fix the broken, but finding the person you can be broken with. Be broken with me, baby. I can’t play in this game alone. My arms and heart are open. The ball is in your hands. Will you throw it to me?”
“I, Killian Blake, promise to be your best friend, your lover, your protector, your partner. I will cherish you and love you and do everything in my power to make sure you’re happy and never feel lonely. I promise to be broken with you every day for the rest of our lives.”
I look over to Killian, and he has tears streaming down his face. Lifting my hand to his cheek, I wipe one of the tears and say, “When I used to read fairytales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one.” Killian’s shoulders shake with laughter as his tears fall faster. “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Chapter four: The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill.”
“You really did read the book,” I say back through my own laughter and tears.
