my dad turned to me and said, “Just so you know, if he ever beats you, I won’t just take your word for it. There are two sides to every story.” To my mind, husband beating and husband raping are right next to each other on the Richter scale of fucked-up things men you trust can do to you. I took it to mean what my cousin once meant—black girlhood ends whenever a man says it ends. Two sides to every story. Almost ready. She a ho. Those are the kind of comments I have heard hundreds, if not thousands, of times, from men and women, to excuse violence against black women and girls. If one is
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