Gottman calls contempt “sulfuric acid for love.” However, it doesn’t just destabilize our relationships and our politics. Gottman tells me that it also causes a comprehensive degradation of our immune systems. It damages self-esteem, alters behavior, and even impairs cognitive processing.10 According to the American Psychological Association, the feeling of rejection, so often experienced after being treated with contempt, increases “anxiety, depression, jealousy, and sadness” and “reduces performance on difficult intellectual tasks.”11
