Telling them you want to talk might make them worry they’re about to be blamed for something, increasing their defensiveness. For this reason, it’s always best to initiate deeper conversations by first asking for a short amount of their time, say five or ten minutes, and then asking only specific questions or sharing one or two feelings with them at a time. If you keep it short and structured at the beginning, they may be willing to respond later to more open-ended questions.
