Such powerless anguish impels children to do something—anything—to make their parent see and respond to them. That’s why young children so often have meltdowns over seemingly insignificant things. When their subjective experience isn’t recognized or understood by their parent (Stern 2004), their inner cohesion comes apart, and they feel like they’re falling into the void. They can’t keep themselves together in the absence of a supportive parental attachment (Wallin 2007).
