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Toddlers are not giving us a hard time. They are having a hard time.
Toddlers are not giving us a hard time. They are having a hard time.
What seems to be a lack of flexibility (“I can’t eat breakfast without my favorite spoon!”) is actually an expression of their strong sense of order.
What seems to be a lack of flexibility (“I can’t eat breakfast without my favorite spoon!”) is actually an expression of their strong sense of order.
Give feedback. In Montessori, rather than tell the child their artwork is “good” we like to leave it up to the child to decide if they like what they have made.
The best example of all is to hang beautiful artwork from artists on the walls of our home and at child height, too, for the whole family to appreciate.
The adults in the environment are a child’s primary source of language, so we can use any moment during our day to describe what we are doing. This could be anything from walking outside to getting dressed in the morning to cooking dinner. Use rich language, giving the proper words for the things we find, like the names of dogs, vegetables, food, vehicles, trees, and birds.
No3 TABLE SETTING Use a low cupboard to provide toddlers access to their bowl, cutlery, and glass so they can set the table following a marked place mat as a guide.
10. All-weather exploration. There is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. So get some great all-weather clothing and shoes (for the adult and the child) and stomp in those puddles, make a snowman, or put on a hat and sunscreen and explore the beach. Get out each and every
A place for everything and everything in its place. Toddlers have a particularly strong sense of order. When we have a place for everything and everything is in its place, it helps them learn where things belong (and where to put them away).
• A changing area. Once they are standing, children wearing diapers often don’t like to be laid down to be changed. Instead, we can change them standing up in the bathroom to introduce them to the idea that this is where they will use the toilet. We can also start to offer the potty or
She would note each time a child asked for help in her class and then set up a way the child would be able to help themselves the next time.
At home, they will explore their environment by touching and feeling things. Instead of saying, “No, don’t touch,” we can
observe the skill they are practicing and look for a way to redirect it toward an activity that is more appropriate. If they are taking the books off the bookshelf, we can put them back so they can practice it again and again. Or, if we don’t feel like playing that game, we can think of other things they can empty, like a collection of scarves in a basket. When we find them exploring our wallet and taking out all our cards and cash, we can prepare some other containers in a basket for them to open and close and find things inside. In our classroom we even have an old wallet with some of my old
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“Nothing can take away initiative as fast as when we redo something that they did.”
Allow boredom. When we have unscheduled time in our day to sit without anything planned (and without technology to entertain us), our child has a chance to be bored. Their mind can wander and daydream, they can come up with new ideas, and they can make new connections. When the mind is bored, it seeks stimulation and becomes increasingly creative.
hands, they are not trying to be naughty. If we look at it from their perspective, we can see they simply want to play with that toy right now. Then we can observe them, see if they need any help, or be ready to step in if needed.
When we ask, “How can I get my child to be less shy/concentrate more/be more interested in art/be more active?” and so on, we are not accepting them for who they are. Instead, we can work to show our child we love them just as they are, where they are right now. Really, that is what anyone wants. Significance. Belonging. Acceptance for who
can’t let you hurt me/I can’t let you speak to me that way/I cannot let you hurt yourself. But I see something important is going on, and I am trying to understand.”
1. Describe what we see Focus on the process rather than the product and describe what our child has done. Give feedback by using positive and factual descriptions of the child’s actions and accomplishments. “You took your plate to the kitchen.” “You look really pleased with yourself.” “You got dressed all by yourself.”
“You put the blocks in the basket and put them back on the shelf.” “You used blue and red paint. I see a swirl over here.” 2. Sum it up with a word “You packed your bag and are ready to go to the beach. Now, that’s what I call independence!” “You helped your grandma with her bag. Now, that’s what I call being thoughtful.” “You wiped up the water on the floor with the mop without me asking. That’s what I call being resourceful.” 3. Describe how we feel “I am so excited for you.” “It’s a pleasure to walk into the living room when everything has been put away.”
Give age-appropriate choices We can offer our toddler choices to encourage cooperation. Not big decisions like where they will go to school, but age-appropriate choices, like which color T-shirt they would like to wear (out of two seasonally appropriate options); or when they are heading to the bath, we can offer them the option of jumping like a kangaroo or walking on all fours sideways like a crab. This gives the toddler a sense of control over the situation and involves them in the process. Note: Some toddlers do not like choices. Just as with any of these suggestions, use the ones that
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I’ve noticed that once toddlers have processed their feelings and are calm, they often take a deep breath or release a big sigh. We can look for this kind of physical sign to show they are completely calm again.
Before 2.5 years, toddlers are mostly interested in parallel play—playing on their own alongside another child—rather than sharing their toys and playing together.
