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remind myself that a pretty veneer does not mean these people aren’t monsters.
suddenly everyone is shouting at once, demanding the things—the people—Bishop promised them.
“Better than a god. I am a Cat,”
“I bet you could hide a lot of knives in this fluffy stuff.” “Or bomb-making material.”
the problem with immortals is that they don’t stay dead.
feeling myself irrationally offended at being rejected by a sentient casino.
that’s what friends do. They don’t give up on someone just because they’ve fucked up.”
“They are free to leave as they please. If they want to come outside, they will.”
making them they sparkle
“National Park Ranger,” Aaron offers. “They stayed on after the federal government collapsed. Called themselves the Alt-Rangers. Said they had a higher duty to the land than to the government. They still wear their uniforms. It’s sort of a calling.” “They’re not even armed.” “No one would touch them. They’re considered sacred.”
If Aaron flips on us, will Rissa have my back? Ben’s back? Or will she feel some kind of loyalty to Aaron? She said she wouldn’t, but I don’t know her well enough to know if she’s lying. Or if she’s telling the truth but likely to change her mind when the shit hits the fan.
“Swank. Or at least, apocalyptic swank.”
“We all seen some shit, eh? Done some shit too. I bet you done some dark shit.” I nod slowly, unsure where he’s going with this. “Probably going to see and do a lot more dark shit too.”
Gideon will be in the private residence. He plays rabble, but he ain’t common. Not really.”
always knew you were the crazy one in the girl gang.”
The place has none of the curves of the earth, nothing that speaks of Dinétah, of wooden hogans or warmth. It is entirely foreign. A place made by bilagáanas, for bilagáanas. That is a truth I feel deep in my bones.
Either I am expected and it’s a trap, or the White Locust’s hubris is as vast as the land around me.
pre–Big Water stylish but entirely nondescript.
The room itself is the same plain box of concrete and pale wood as all the others, only this room feels warm. Living.
I was right that one of the maps on the wall was of the dam we crossed to get here. But I see other dams too. The Hoover Dam, which I recognize from school. And smaller ones I’m not familiar with. Grand Valley, Navajo.
I realize the stacks of newspapers around me are all accounts of the various events that led up to the Big Water. It seems obvious that Kai is studying the world-ending floods of history, looking for I’m not sure what. But combined with the maps of the Colorado River and its tributaries through Dinétah and the massive dams used to manage the river . . . and I’m starting to see the method to Gideon’s madness. And the part that Kai, the one-time King of Storms and student of the Diné Weather Ways, may play in it all.
And he’s helping Gideon with this plan to do what—flood Dinétah? It’s too much. Too different from the Kai I know. And it makes me think that maybe I’ve misunderstood him.
instead of feeling a happy nervousness to see Kai again, my body feels heavy, my feet drag, and all I feel is dread.
the White Locust and his Swarm are having a Keshmish party.
I wonder if Gideon is trusting, arrogant, or if there’s something else about the man that I’m missing entirely.
“That’s not hospitality. That’s bait.”
“One need not dismember a woman to break her into pieces. I think you know that.”
was trying to do what was best for you, but all I did was deny you the right to make your own choices.”
I want to defend him, tell her that I believe he’s lying to Gideon, using his clan powers to trick all of them into thinking he’s on their side, but I don’t want to explain to Rissa what I saw—the blonde, him seated at Gideon’s side, the things he said about Gideon helping him get over the trauma of dying.
all I have for proof is my blind trust. Trust that’s been wrong about Kai before. So I just hold her gaze. Ask her to trust me if she can’t trust him.
“Maybe your Kai has his own plans,” Aaron cuts in. “Rissa said he was an accomplished liar. Maybe he’s a spy on the inside.”
“Sometimes a man is so used to keeping secrets, he doesn’t know how to stop keeping them.
Maybe it was easier to want Gideon dead when he was just a bad guy. Harder when he’s a real person, the brother of a friend.
find myself smiling too, glad I could distract her from having to relive the horrors of her life.
“Magic, medicine, science, and a little luck. If I had duct tape, I’d throw that in too.”
I think of Gideon. How he hates the world so much all he wants to do is see it destroyed. But his nihilism doesn’t tempt me. I’m trying desperately to stay alive.
“Your life means more to me than his death.
“It means come home safe. It means we’re family.”
I have to trust that he will be all right, that he knows what he’s doing, or at least that he can take care of himself. And I have to trust that when this is over, I will see him again. Touch him again. I have to believe that.
“Once I have cleansed the land, I will challenge the gods themselves. I will take what I was denied, what should have always been mine.”
Don’t you want to be free?” “No! Free is lonely. Free is having no one who cares for you, no one who will sacrifice their own lives to protect you. Free is no one having your back even when you’re a solid bitch. I don’t want that kind of free!”
“Because I’m just a five-fingered girl,” I say finally. “And I need other people.”
“I don’t want the power,” Kai says. He drops his head, and when he looks up again, I know that his eyes have lost their uncanny glow.

