I Hate Everyone But You

by Gaby Dunn

I can only handle so much hypermasculinity masquerading as heterosexuality.

Graduate students are the shit because they’re stunted enough to stay students but mature enough to know how to buy drugs and not get arrested.

Your mind is a precious vessel that carries all of my most favorite thoughts and feelings. You must protect it at all costs. Do whatever you want with your body.

I feel like art students are performing instead of living. And it’s not that fun to talk to a caricature of a human being.

Never blame yourself for the physical failings of a man. Their infrastructure is designed for malfunction.

I always compliment people I can’t stand. It throws them off and makes me feel like a better person despite the hate and judgment in my heart.

Remember when being exceptionally smart was enough to get by?

If we can figure out some prescription cocktail that takes away my anxiety and obsessive thoughts, sign me up! Even if I have to be asleep the whole time.

I am completely exhausted by the prospect of being me for the rest of my life.

Am I that terrible cliché of a girl who hates herself and only likes boys who are mean to her?

He’s just this straight cis guy trying to be a woke bae in a school full of queer kids.