I'm Thinking of Ending Things

by Iain Reid

‘The meaning of my existence is that life has addressed a question to me. Or, conversely, I myself am a question which is addressed to the world, and I must communicate my answer, for otherwise I am dependent upon the world’s answer.’ ”

The idea that we are better off with one person for the rest of our lives is not an innate truth of existence. It’s a belief we want to be true.

I flip the headlights back on. Where is Jake? What’s he doing? I open my door.

STAY IN THE FAWKING CAR!!!!

I run to the side door. I have to go in.

white people are crazy!!!!!

We can’t and don’t know what others are thinking. We can’t and don’t know what motivations people have for doing the things they do. Ever. Not entirely. This was my terrifying, youthful epiphany. We just never really know anyone. I don’t. Neither do you.

What holds this together? What gives life significance? What gives it shape and depth? In the end it comes for us all. So why do we wait for it instead of making it happen? What am I waiting for?