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March 15 - March 22, 2020
But at the end of the day, who you befriend, date, marry, or get naked with doesn’t say shit about your morals or understanding of privilege, oppression, or social justice.
When “if” sneaks its way into an apology, it corrupts the entire thing from the inside out.
Comeback: “There’s no need for ‘if’—I am offended. So are you sorry?”
Enacted by what’s known as the Tone Police, tone policing is the offering of unsolicited advice on how to express one’s feelings.
Anger is a valid emotion, and it doesn’t lessen or invalidate truth.
Comeback: “I think people should be treated fairly. And when they’re not, it makes me angry. Why aren’t you angry at all?”
Awareness, education, and discussion are essential to understanding a problem before working toward a solution.
Comeback: “Maybe if I ignore my taxes they’ll go away? It worked for Wesley Snipes and Lauryn Hill!”
“Just like talking about global warming doesn’t make me a greenhouse gas, talking about racism doesn’t make me a racist.”
The word “play” implies a fun or enjoyable experience, but there’s nothing fun about the very real pain associated with being mistreated. Only people who lack empathy would see victimhood as some kind of game or performance with ulterior motives.
Just as you’re allowed to feel angry about oppression or injustice, it’s natural to express feelings of sadness or fear, especially if you’re exhausted by the prospect of trying to keep up a brave face.
Comeback: “Victimhood is not a game. I don’t get a prize for talking about my experience.”
Plus, if you cared about every single pressing, dire, and horrible issue on earth all the time, at the same time, you would have a breakdown.
Comeback: “Don’t you have more important things to think about than what I should be thinking about?”
It’s just not funny to disrespect other people’s beliefs, backgrounds, cultures, or identities when those are deeply rooted in longstanding oppression.
But what they’re actually saying is that racial identity is bad—not that racial oppression is bad.
A person’s racial identity doesn’t define them, but it does play a part in who they are. For many, “I don’t see color” is an attempt to say “I don’t see you as any different from me or anyone else,” which is good in theory, but not realistic. People are different! And that’s okay! Our differences aren’t the issue. It’s treating people as less than because of their differences that’s the problem.
Yes, there are immigration laws in place, but laws are not perfect. Part of our work, as activists and as citizens, is to determine what laws need to be refined and what new laws need to be created, and then to pressure our elected officials to act on that. Comeback: “Why don’t we just fix our broken immigration system so the people who want to come here legally can do so?”
Let’s agree that all persecution is bad, but not all persecution is equal.
Unless you have a time-travel device handy, there isn’t much value in theorizing how someone could’ve avoided being the victim of an assault of any kind.
If someone is the victim of a crime, the CRIMINAL is responsible for committing the crime. They CHOSE to commit a crime. Comeback: “You’re right. It is terrible. If that criminal hadn’t assaulted her she wouldn’t have been assaulted.”
Comeback: “It’s okay for a movement to be focused on a specific group or cause. ‘Save the rainforest’ doesn’t mean ‘Fuck all the other trees.”
In her 1988 essay collection, A Burst of Light, Audre Lorde wrote, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
All that said, keep in mind that forgiveness takes time; offering an apology doesn’t mean it’s automatically going to be accepted or that the hurt will magically disappear. An apology has to be combined with action to make a real impact, so remember to give people space to see your follow-through.
It’s the practice of majority groups taking cultural practices, imagery, clothing, or other things from marginalized people without attribution, often for profit, and without being respectful of the customs’ cultural origins. Meanwhile, people from those marginalized groups are often stigmatized for or downright prohibited from engaging in their practices by society at large.
In reality, everyone has some level of privilege, or rather a combination of privileges. Having privileges doesn’t mean you’re rich, have never worked hard, or never
had to struggle. It just means that there are some things you’ll never have to experience or think about because of who you are.
