Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You

by Susan Forward

Let me reassure you: Just because there’s emotional blackmail in a close relationship doesn’t mean it’s doomed. It simply means that we need to honestly acknowledge and correct the behavior that’s causing us pain, putting these relationships back on a more solid foundation.

Emotional blackmail becomes their defense against feeling hurt and afraid.

you can be angry with someone without trying to beat them up emotionally. Disagreements, even strong ones, don’t have to be mixed with insults or negative judgments.

staying with someone is no guarantee that you can save them. Ultimately, the decision to be self-destructive is theirs, not yours. Certainly you can direct a suicidal person to support and resources. But if you remain because you feel that it’s your duty to protect them from themselves, you’re almost ensuring that whenever they want to strengthen control over you, they will pull out this terrifying form of emotional blackmail.