Everything's Trash, But It's Okay

by Phoebe Robinson

Unfortunately, this background check is all too familiar with every single black woman I know. We’ve heard time and time again that black women and Asian men get asked out the least on dating apps. Well, the OkCupid blog did something about these rumors and analyzed their own data in the 2009 OkCupes’s

Men don’t write black women back. Or rather,

they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.

But my pals and I didn’t need this data to confirm what we already knew. We relied on our own dating experience and what we constantly hear every day. There’s the black guy on Instagram under the moniker Maserati Rick who stated rich athletes don’t marry black women because “most of the sisters were raised in broken homes . . ...

woman and let[s] her man lead. Black women believe it’s 50/50 and you have to be uneducated to ever think such a thing.” There’s also the black woman on Facebook who told me that a guy wouldn’t let it go and asked if she was sure that she is only African-American because she’s beautiful. Or a white girlfriend who was confused as to why I get so many fewer messages from guys than she does. And, by the way, this is not just a hetero problem. OkCupid confirmed that black gay men get 20 percent fewer responses than all other races, so the problem is widespread. And the website pointed to the fact that Latinx and Asian women are often heavily fetishized when inter...