Eric began, “Ya know . . .” And then I began cautiously, “Uh-huh?” “. . . there are exercises that you can do to tone up your thighs.” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. JUST FUCKING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE! Y’all, this the biggest nope I done noped in my entire life. Bigger than the nope I feel when I see a grown-ass dude wearing Crocs with socks. Bigger than the nope when my iPhone goes from 40 percent to 12 percent all because I played the game Two Dots for approximately three and a half minutes. And bigger than the nope I screamed when a pigeon drive-by-pooped on my
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