I love NYC so much, but that love will not blind me to the fact that the subway trains and buses are hotbeds to a whole host of germs. So whenever my bare tush touches the seat, I wanna tell my butt, “Well, butt, we’ve had a good run. We went to some art gallery shows and understood none of what we saw, mastered dipping it low to a few Rihanna songs, and looked amazing in that one pair of pants that we wore all the time,” and then donate it to a plastic surgeon’s office for some patient to use for their booty implant. Then I remember soap exists, and I, like most people, use my cell phone
...more
