The List (The Real Thing collection)

by Jade Chang

And then, because men really do like to explain things, he went on.

That’s always the problem in old fairy tales. You get what you wish for, but never quite in the form that you were expecting, which is why, to a witch, the List is not a cavalier parlor game; it is an instrument of power and potential.

People tend to cling to anything that claims to mediate between desire and chaos, especially if it has just a few easy-to-follow rules.

Actually, the most valuable effect of list making might be the realization that you are allowed to ask for something, that you are not a mere supplicant at the feast of love.

“The List makes you face outward, which is never where the relationship is going to be. The process of looking for love is really a relationship with yourself.”

Love might feel like an achievement, but it is rarely dependent on merit.

But I think that so many friends had the same question because we all wonder if extraordinary events change our essential selves.

“Rather than judging love by its duration, we should give up judging love at all. Love is the life force flowing through us. Love is the moment when the walls that separate us from the rest of the universe come tumbling down. And we stand there, naked and afraid, but not alone. Even a glimpse of that not-aloneness is worth it. Because it’s proof that we are part of something larger and more important than ourselves.”

Even if your life is full of people you love and care for, you have to breathe for yourself first.