Your Erroneous Zones

by Wayne W. Dyer

There is only one moment in which you can experience anything, and that is now, yet a great deal of time is thrown away by dwelling on past or future experiences. Turning your now into total fulfillment is the touchstone of effective living, and virtually all self-defeating behaviors (erroneous zones) are efforts at living in a moment other than the current one.

Those who recognize problems as a human condition and don’t measure happiness by an absence of problems are the most intelligent kind of humans we know; also, the most rare.

You are the person responsible for how you feel. You feel what you think, and you can learn to think differently about anything—if you decide to do so. Ask yourself if there is a sufficient payoff in being unhappy, down, or hurt.

The brain, which is composed of ten billion, billion working parts, has enough storage capacity to accept ten new facts every second. It has been conservatively estimated that the human brain can store an amount of information equivalent to one hundred trillion words, and that all of us use but a tiny fraction of this storage space.

The present moment, that elusive time which is always with you, can be most beautifully experienced if you allow yourself to get lost in it. Drink in all of every moment and tune out that past which is over and the future which will arrive in time. Seize the present moment as the only one you have. And remember, wishing, hoping and regretting are the most common and dangerous tactics for evading the present.

Self-worth cannot be verified by others. You are worthy because you say it is so. If you depend on others for your value it is other-worth.

Love is a word that has as many definitions as there are people to define it. Try this one on for size. The ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you.

Never confuse your self-worth (which is a given) with your behavior, or the behavior of others toward you.

It may surprise you to hear this, but you can choose to be as bright as you desire. Aptitude is really a function of time, rather than some inborn quality.

Aptitude is the amount of time required by the learner to attain mastery of a learning task. Implicit in this formulation is the assumption that, given enough time, all students can conceivably attain mastery of a learning task.

You are as smart as you choose to be. Not liking how smart you’ve chosen to be is mere self-contempt, which can lead only to injurious consequences in your own life.

Complaining is the refuge of those who have no self-reliance.

Complaining about yourself is a useless activity, and one which keeps you from effectively living your life. It encourages self-pity and immobilizes you in your efforts at giving and receiving love. Moreover it reduces your opportunities for improved love relationships and increased social intercourse. While it may get you attention, the noticing will be done in a light that will clearly cast shadows on your own happiness.

It is impossible to go through life without incurring a great deal of disapproval. It is the way of humanity, the dues you pay for your “aliveness,” something that simply cannot be avoided.

The leaders of the church have misconstrued the teachings of the great religious leaders and attempted to teach conformity by using fear of retribution as a weapon. Thus, a man behaves morally not because he believes it to be appropriate for him, but because God wants him to behave that way. If in doubt, consult the commandments rather than yourself and what you believe. Behave because someone has told you to and because you will be punished if you don’t, not because you know it to be the right behavior for you. Organized religion appeals to your approval-seeking needs. It may produce the same behavior that you would have chosen, but you haven’t chosen it freely.

A careful look at Jesus Christ will reveal an extremely self-actualized person, an individual who preached self-reliance, and was not afraid to incur disapproval. Yet many of his followers have twisted his teachings into a catechism of fear and self-hate.

Accept the simple fact that many won’t ever understand you, and that it is okay. Conversely, you won’t understand many people who are very close to you. You don’t have to. It’s all right for them to be different and the most fundamental understanding you can have is that you don’t understand.

Immunity from despair in the face of disapproval is the ticket to a lifetime of delectable personal present-moment freedom.

Only a ghost wallows around in his past, explaining himself with self-descriptors based on a life lived through. You are what you choose today, not what you’ve chosen before.

“What am I avoiding now by using up this moment with worry?”

“Is there anything that will ever change as a result of my worrying about it?”

Albert Einstein, a man who devoted his life to exploring the unknown, said in an article entitled “What I Believe” in Forum (October 1930), The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the true source of all art and science.

It is a fact that great men remind you of no other, and their greatness is generally discernible in the quality of exploration and the boldness with which they explored the unknown.

You are a tower of strength. You are not going to collapse or fall apart if you encounter something new. In fact, you stand a much better chance of avoiding psychological collapse if you eliminate some of the routine and sameness in your life.

“Have you really been teaching for thirty years or have you been teaching one year, thirty times?” And you, dear reader, have you really lived 10,000 or more days or have you lived one day, 10,000 or more times?

I have revised some folk wisdom lately; one of my edited proverbs is Nothing fails like success because you do not learn anything from it. The only thing we ever learn from is failure. Success only confirms our superstitions.

Whenever you find yourself avoiding the unknown, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen to me?” You’ll probably see that the fears of the unknown are out of proportion to the reality of the consequences.

As Abraham Lincoln once put it, “I never had a policy that I could always apply. I’ve simply attempted to do what made the greatest amount of sense at the moment.”

Even sensible laws and rules will not apply under every set of circumstances. What we are striving for is choice, that is, the ability to be free from the servant mentality of constant adherence to the shoulds.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

the irony of anger is that it never works in changing others; it only intensifies the other person’s desire to control the angry person.

It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.