Try, “I know how much you wanted to be on varsity and that you are really disappointed. The outcome hurts.” Using specific words to describe the cause of her tears (“disappointed” and “hurts”) helps to contain her uncomfortable feelings. For this tactic to work, your tune must match your lyrics. Regardless of the accuracy of your words, they’re only useful if delivered in a tone that expresses warmth and your total confidence that your daughter will find a way to bounce back. If you’re obviously alarmed while offering verbal comfort, only the alarm comes through.
