Camille would have resisted any immediate effort on Maya’s part to talk about why she was left out of the party. Camille was in pain about her relationship with Sara but really wanted her mother to be in pain about it instead. Ideally, Maya might have called me or looked to her husband or a discreet friend for support. Talking with a trustworthy adult about what’s happening with your teenager is usually the perfect salve to the discomfort of being on the receiving end of an externalization. By sharing the situation with someone who isn’t holding an emotional hot potato, most parents start to
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