From Lukov with Love

by Mariana Zapata

You are who you are in life, and you either live that time trying to bend yourself to make other people happy, or… you don’t.

I glanced at Ivan and made a face. “Black,” I answered, but mouthed like your heart.

This made me laugh hahaha

“You’re enough. You will always be enough. Hear me?”

Because there were a million things wrong with me, and the one thing that wasn’t, was one of the biggest things that disappointed my dad… and everyone else I loved.

“I believe in you. In us. Regardless of what happens, you will always be the best partner I’ve ever had. You’ll always be the hardest working person I’ve ever known. There will only ever be you.”

I loved him. I loved this man so much that losing him was going to break my cold, dead heart into so many pieces I was just going to have to stick them in the same box I kept my dreams and carry it around with me forever.

This was my partner. This was more than my partner. He was my other half.

What I wanted was him forever, but I’d take what I could get.

I loved him. Goddamn I had no idea what the hell had happened or why it had happened, but I loved him so much in that moment, my heart could have burst.

It felt like… it felt like relief. Like acceptance. And it was the second single most beautiful thing I had ever felt in my life. Second to loving this idiot and my family.