From Lukov with Love

by Mariana Zapata

That was the thing about Ivan. He didn’t bullshit. Not ever. I didn’t think he was even capable of being embarrassed either. Because there was no hesitation as he responded. “Yes.” “Why?”

His body didn’t move from its spot beside me, his hand didn’t let go of mine either as he said, “Because Karina called and told me what happened. She asked if there was anything I could do....

This low-level hum began in my ears, but I made myself ask, “Then what happened?” “I told her I didn’t. Then I called him and told him how it was going to b...

“You were mad for me?” “No shit, Sherlock. The idea of you being upset over that waste of breath pissed me off. You deserved better.” He smiled and pressed our hands tight against his side.

“If you were going to cry for anyone, it was going to be me.” “You’re an idiot.” “I know.”

“Do you regret what happened?” I looked right into those clear blue eyes and told him, “It was the best thing that could have happened to me.” “Me too, Jas.”

And this… this thing that I knew was love bubbled up inside of me, and I knew it was a stupid idea. I knew I needed to shut the fuck up.

But as I looked into those beautiful eyes and held that hand that had been there to hold me up so many times, I reminded myself that ...

“Vanya,” I started to say, oddly not nervous, so close his breath touched my lips. “I don’t expect anything from you, and I don’t want to make this weird, but I want you to know—” His “Shut up” caught me off guard. I blinke...

“But I got you something too. It’s not the souls of everyone that has ever pissed you off, but….”

“I was going to give it to you after, but I think I should give it to you now.”

“I thought we were past you thinking I’m going to randomly kill you.” “I don’t think we’ll ever be past that.”

“My plan is to kill you after worlds. Get it right.” “I’ll write it down in my calendar then. Thank you for the warning.”

“Fine, you’re not nervous. But I want you to know that regardless of what happens today and tomorrow, it doesn’t matter, Meatball.” And that had me snapping my head up to look him in the eye. The fuck was he talking about? “Of course it matters.”

“No, it doesn’t,” he insisted. “It’s just a competition. If we win or lose, it doesn’t change anything.”

“I’m not going to be mad. I’m not going to be disappointed. I hope you’re not either.”

“Will you?” “Be disappointed if we don’t win?” I didn’t like the nod he gave me.

“No.” I wouldn’t. “You’d be in sixth place with me. I wouldn’t be alone. If I’m going to fail, at least we’d do it together,”

It felt like… it felt like relief. Like acceptance. And it was the second single most beautiful thing I had ever felt in my life. Second to loving this idiot and my family.

And that had to be the right fucking answer he was looking for because the smile that came over his face was the best...

“Give me back your wrist, you little shit,” he ordered, beaming that smile that I wished with all my ...

So I gave him my wrist. And I watched as he tied the pink leather straps together, tight but not too tight, and left the bracelet up high on my arm like I’d had the other one, in the perfect spot to be hidden by the sleeve of my costume. He’d barely finished the knot when I brought my forearm to my face and read the tiny inscription on the metal.

To Meatball From your best friend, Ivan

And in the time it took me to read the metal plate about four times, Ivan had already tied my...

But it didn’t fit under his sleeve. And when he smiled at me, I knew...

The two hands that had been on my shoulders from the moment we’d come to wait for our turn, kneaded my traps loosely. Ivan’s body was so close behind me, I could feel the heat radiating off him.

“Your mom just waved at me,” Ivan whispered into my ear before lifting a hand off my shoulder and more than likely waving it.

“Your mom and Jonathan tried to talk him out of coming, but he insisted he wouldn’t bother you,” Ivan whispered into my ear.

She was watching me and Ivan, and I could tell even from the distance that she was grinning.

The hand on my shoulder slid down to rest at the tops of my arms, and Ivan began moving his hands up and down my biceps and triceps.

“You’ve both exceeded my expectations for the season already. Ivan, remember to pace yourself after you come out of the triple-triple, and Jasmine…” She gave me a little smile then that I felt down to my bones. “Just be this you, okay?” This me.

“Let’s get ’em, baby,” Ivan whispered into my ear, with a squeeze to my upper arms.

And if it sounded exactly like a mash of all of my family members’ voices… it was more than enough for me. It was so much more than I deserved, but that familiar feeling I’d gotten earlier when Ivan had given me my bracelet and just minutes ago when Coach Lee had told me to be myself, it felt like home. It felt right. It felt an awful fucking lot like love.

Fingers squeezed the back of my neck, and I glanced up to see Ivan grinning down at me. And I smiled back at him.

Whatever happens, he mouthed to me. But then his lips kept forming words. Three words exactly. I love you.

If I’d had anything other than skates on, I would have tripped or fallen over or some shit like that. I would have busted my goddamn ass and probably split my chin open.

Ivan stopped in front of me, a small smile on his face as he placed all of his arms and legs and fingers where they needed to be. I love you, he repeated like it was something he’d said a thousand times in the past.

The smile that came over his face was slow… and sweet. And alarming.

“You suck, Meatball,” he called out a second before I knew the music was about to start. But I love you, his lips formed.

My heart thumped. Thumped. Then thumped some more. My world didn’t tilt, my legs didn’t give out from under me, but that feeling that had only intensified throughout the day, grew and grew and grew unt...

Ivan loved me. Ivan fucking loved me. And he didn’t care if we won or lost. And all I could do was get mad that he’d cut me off when I’d been about to ...

“You couldn’t have chosen a better time to say something?” I asked loudly, trying so hard not to move my lips. I swore to God, this idiot puckered his lips and blew me a kiss so small there was no way that any of the cameras ar...

And luckily for him, he was all business once the music started, and only sent me a wink and a smile once each during the entire two-minutes and forty seconds.

And then I remembered. I remembered his I love you, and it pissed me off all over again. Because. What. The. Fuck?

“You had to tell me right before we started?” I hissed, panting and out of breath. His chest was puffing in and out as he gasped, “Uh-huh.” Uh-huh. Just uh-huh. “You—”

Before I could stop him, before I could realize what the hell he was doing, as we stood there, both panting, our faces inches apart, both high off adrenaline and power and something that I was 99 perc...

He leaned forward, quick as lightning, and pecked me on the nose. Ivan Lukov kissed me on the tip of my nose ...

It didn’t register to me because I was too focused on the fact that he’d even done it to begin with. Let alone on television. Let alone three minutes after he told me he loved me.

“What is wrong with you?” I hissed a second before stepping out of our finishing poses to go into a bow. He didn’t let my tone stop him from flashing me that slow, slick grin as he got into place at my side. “You.”

“Bitch,” I whispered just as I bowed. I’d never liked curtsies. They felt too fake. “Loser,” ...