Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Evading Relationships That Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power

by Christiane Northrup

This is not because the empath is a fool. It results, instead, from the perfect storm of the empath’s desire to be a healing force in the world, combined with the predatory skills of the vampire—and, very often, the unhealed wounds of the empath, who often

doesn’t feel worthy of the best life has to offer.

all tribes wound their members with three archetypal wounds: shame, abandonment, and betrayal.

Holding people accountable to living by these expectations by using shame, guilt, and abandonment is extremely effective because these feelings are so painful to experience—especially for an empath who feels the disappointment and judgment of others so acutely. And then makes the mistake of thinking that something is wrong with her. When we are shamed as children for being who we really are, we begin to doubt ourselves.

But if she starts to cry and run for the victim role—or gets angry and tells you what’s wrong with you, you have your diagnosis.

Yup.

psychologist Sandra L. Brown reported that fully 75 percent of the women who come to her retreats to recover from narcissistic abuse suffer from autoimmune disorders and the kinds of things I mentioned above.

I believe it.

this kind of person has been called a “hungry ghost,” meaning that they have no inner sense of self. They have an abyss inside that can’t be filled no matter how much you love and attend to them. They have frequent intense displays of anger. And are very manipulative.

They don’t recognize the needs and feelings of others. They feel superior to others and act entitled.

What every vampire has in common is covert aggression and manipulation for personal gain. They are fighting for the upper hand. Period. End of story.

However, neuroplasticity and change are contingent on one thing: willingness. You will never get any sustainable and positive changes in your brain unless you, yourself, are willing to change something. The Cluster B person has to want to change. And the chances of that happening are basically zero. So, yes, it’s technically possible, but it is highly, extremely, overwhelmingly, tremendously, crushingly improbable. Remember, they are born this way. Just as you didn’t choose to be born as an empath, they didn’t choose to be born with their personality. So the goal here isn’t to judge them as evil or try to fix them. It is simply to avoid them, or at the very least, set up very healthy boundaries, and save yourself.

Reminder

It’s very possible that your very first vampire was your mother or father.

“You can’t get sick enough to help sick people get better. You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive.”

Love this!

“I pledge allegiance to myself and to my Soul for which I stand. I honor my goodness, my gifts, and my talents. I commit to remaining loyal to myself from this moment forward for all of my days.”

Boundaries come in all shapes and sizes—from a complete cutoff to a managed minimization. Boundaries are absolutely key to your sanity, particularly if you suspect that your vampire has borderline personality disorder.

love is toxic to a toxic person. And that there are only so many milligrams of love that a toxic person can take before they become mean or nasty.

“gray rock.”

most people who get out of these relationships experience a great deal of grief and remorse. They wonder, How in the world have I allowed myself to be duped for so long? This is normal.

You must learn to face the void—the emptiness inside that you’ve been filling up with trying to save the vampire and provide them with your love, attention, etc. You must be willing to be with your emotions and grief long enough to heal them.

Imprint Removal Process

Technique to cut energy cords.

Dr. Mario Martinez notes that for each of the archetypal wounds—abandonment, betrayal, and shame—there is a corresponding healing field that will ameliorate our suffering. These healing fields are energies that oppose the energy of the wound.

“Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back.”

I hear myself saying this. I wonder where I picked it up?

To maintain your health and peace of mind, you must tap into your righteous anger at allowing yourself to be used and abused. In the instance of vampire relationships, this means that you must either get out of or minimize time spent with the other person. And you must realize that being spiritual and unconditionally loving does not mean putting up with abuse of any kind.

The other thing that we’ve seen about the fascia is that it stores emotions that haven’t been processed. These emotions can then manifest as illness.

Our intent is reaching a hand out to the Divine—to God. And whenever we do this, we anchor in more light. And emit more light and healing as a result. Remember what I said in the beginning of this book. Our intent, our light, is always grounded in love, compassion, and service, not self-sacrifice and martyrdom. Self-sacrifice and martyrdom have been tools of Darkness used by Darkness in the old energy. They are the tools of enslavement. When you give away your power or focus on trying to fix the unfixable, you dim your light. And that is one of the lessons you came to learn. This is why vampires can be such profound teachers. When you love yourself first, you stand as the light. When you forgive yourself for any real or imagined “sins,” you stand as the light. When you stop perpetuating the myth that you are flawed and that something is wrong with you, you stand as the light. When you fill up your self-love bank account, you stand as the light. And when you humbly acknowledge your greatness with humility, you stand as the light.

Blessed Be! )O(

It means that it’s not your job to suffer and take crap from vampires—of any sort. You are here to transform darkness into light, so the next time someone pulls at your heart strings—but never, ever does anything for themselves other than feed off your goodwill—tell them to go away. Investigate before automatically assuming that they are well-meaning.