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That was one of the shitty aspects of being single. No one to touch, no warm body to cling to on a cold night in bed, no one to complain to when things didn’t go your way.
But then again, there couldn’t be another man that beautiful either. Perhaps I was Felix-sexual.
But most of all, when I limped out of bed the next morning, I heard the quiet echo of his last words mumbled into my hair in the middle of the night. I’m not sure I can live without you.
My Etienne - whose heart shined like colored glass in the sun.
“I really care about him, Grandpa Wilde,” I said quietly. “When I left him at Gadleigh, it was like I left one of my lungs there too. I can hardly breathe.”
“He’s such a good fucking human being, you know?” I added in a rough voice. “So beautiful. His heart is so pure. He deserves so much.”
That was my heart right there, and it was walking around free as if it didn’t belong in the center of my chest.

