All About Love: New Visions

by bell hooks

When we understand love as the will to nurture our own and another’s spiritual growth, it becomes clear that we cannot claim to love if we are hurtful and abusive.

Remember, care is a dimension of love, but simply giving care does not mean we are loving.

So that just as we would cling to the notion that those who hurt us as children loved us, we try to rationalize being hurt by other adults by insisting that they love us.

When we are loving we openly and honestly express care, affection, responsibility, respect, commitment, and trust.

The light of love is always in us, no matter how cold the flame.

Sadly, like so many Americans, she believes that the pursuit and attainment of wealth will compensate for all emotional lack.

I would have been able to leave this relationship sooner or recover myself within it had I brought to this bond the level of respect, care, knowledge, and responsibility I brought to friendships.

When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.

“Though they have reached adult age, they are unable to face adult feelings with responsibilities. Out of touch with their true emotions, afraid to depend on even those closest to them, self-centered and narcissistic, they hide behind masks of normalcy while feeling empty and lonely inside.”

True love does have the power to redeem but only if we are ready for redemption. Love saves us only if we want to be saved.

“I do not mean to be sentimental about suffering—but people who cannot suffer can never grow up, can never discover who they are.”

Cynicism is the greatest barrier to love. It is rooted in doubt and despair. Fear intensifies our doubt. It paralyzes. Faith and hope allow us to let fear go. Fear stands in the way of love.

Love does not lead to an end to difficulties, it provides us with the means to cope with our difficulties in ways that enhance our growth.