With the End in Mind: Dying, Death, and Wisdom in an Age of Denial

by Kathryn Mannix

The second part of life is about transcendence to wisdom, and for many people this only develops over a long lifetime. For others, though, there can be an early transition, and this is very often through a personal experience of deep loss and enormous pain – exactly like the experience of knowing they have an incurable illness that our patients encounter; the knowledge that death is approaching, and that it will mean the end of everything they hold familiar and dear. Each of the wisdom traditions describes this transformation process in its own way, yet the key ‘Golden Rule’ of all of them is the development of a sense of compassion for others. The focus moves from ‘me’ to ‘everyone and everything’. This includes a kindness to oneself, and the ability to recognise and forgive one’s own faults in the same loving way that those transformed, second-part-of-life people forgive the faults of others.