Country Dark

by Chris Offutt

“She’s like a blue jay. Pretty to look at but loud and mean.”

“She can’t count her titties twice and come up with the same number.”

People don’t know they’re lucky till the bad luck comes along.”

He was afraid of women—of disappointing them and receiving their subsequent ire. A woman’s anger made him feel worthless. The best strategy was to stay outdoors and give them whatever they wanted. The problem was he didn’t know what they wanted. The only technique that always worked was offering sympathy and aspirin.

War and prison had taught him that sides didn’t really exist, that everyone was eventually caught in the middle of something.