The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives

by William Stixrud

The Lion Fighter (The Stress Response System) The stress response system takes over when you are confronting a severe threat like a predator, or even imagining a threat. It is designed to keep you safe from impending harm. It is made up of the amygdala, the hypothalamus, the hippocampus, and the pituitary and adrenal glands. The amygdala, a primitive emotional processing center that is acutely sensitive to fear, anger, and anxiety, is a key part of the brain’s threat detection system. It doesn’t think consciously; it senses and reacts. Under high stress, the amygdala is the one in charge. Under the amygdala’s reign, our behavior tends to be defensive, reactive, inflexible, and at times aggressive.16 We’re inclined to fall back on habitual patterns or instinct, as our animal nature prepares us to fight, flee, or freeze like a deer in the headlights. When the amygdala senses a threat, it sends a signal to the hypothalamus and the pituitary gland. Then it’s an agitated game of telephone to wake up the adrenal gland, which secretes adrenaline. Adrenaline is the hormone that allows us to lift a car when our child is trapped underneath it. This complex sequence of alarm notifications occurs faster than conscious thought. When we are under threat, we need a vigorous stress response. Our survival may depend on the speed of our instinctive reaction, and evolution shaped us so that we cannot think clearly under stress. A