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“Watch your head, Your Highness.”
Saints, she missed him. The ache of his absence felt like a hook lodged inside her heart. The hurt was always there, but in moments like these, it was as if someone had seized hold of the line and pulled.
She didn’t want to be the girl she’d been, the girl Matthias had loved. If Genya could make her someone new on the outside, maybe Nina’s heart would oblige and beat with a new rhythm too. Of course, it hadn’t worked. The Fjerdans saw Mila Jandersdat, but she was still Nina Zenik, legendary Grisha and unrepentant killer. She was still the girl who craved waffles and who cried herself to sleep at night when she reached for Matthias and found no one there.
It’s time, Nina. Return me to my god.
“Never had a gift for pining,” Nikolai said. “Though I do like to show off my profile by staring mournfully out of windows.”
I have been made to protect you. Even in death I will find a way.
“We should send him to Ketterdam to preach to Kaz Brekker and the rest of those reprobates,” suggested Zoya. Nikolai winced. “He’d certainly get his martyrdom.”
The monster is me and I am the monster.
Hope was the wind that came from nowhere to fill your sails and carry you home.
“I owe you an apology.” “You owe me an entire crop of them. Why start now?” “I meant for the other night in Balakirev. For the bell tower.” He should have said something before, but the shame of hurting her had been more profound than he could have imagined. “Zoya, I’m sorry. For what I did—”
“I don’t fear you, Nikolai.”
Nikolai had to save Ravka from his own family.
“My ruthless Zoya, I’ll load the gun myself.”
She wished she had Inej’s gift for spywork or Kaz’s gift for scheming, but she only seemed to have Jesper’s gift for bad decisions.
“No mourners,”
