The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups

by Daniel Coyle

individual skills are not what matters. What matters is the interaction.

Skill 1—Build Safety—explores how signals of connection generate bonds of belonging and identity. Skill 2—Share Vulnerability—explains how habits of mutual risk drive trusting cooperation. Skill 3—Establish Purpose—tells how narratives create shared goals and values.

being smart is overrated, that showing fallibility is crucial, and that being nice is not nearly as important as you might think.

Culture is a set of living relationships working toward a shared goal. It’s not something you are. It’s something you do.

“Nick would start being a jerk, and [Jonathan] would lean forward, use body language, laugh and smile, never in a contemptuous way, but in a way that takes the danger out of the room and defuses the situation. It doesn’t seem all that different at first.

Nick behaves like a jerk, and Jonathan reacts instantly with warmth, deflecting the negativity and making a potentially unstable situation feel solid and safe. Then

Profuse amounts of eye contact Physical touch (handshakes, fist bumps, hugs) Lots of short, energetic exchanges (no long speeches) High levels of mixing; everyone talks to everyone Few interruptions Lots of questions Intensive, active listening Humor, laughter Small, attentive courtesies (thank-yous, opening doors, etc.)

Belonging cues are behaviors that create safe connection in groups. They include, among others, proximity, eye contact, energy, mimicry, turn taking, attention, body language, vocal pitch, consistency of emphasis, and whether everyone talks to everyone else in the group. Like any language,

Energy: They invest in the exchange that is occurring Individualization: They treat the person as unique and valued Future orientation: They signal the relationship will continue

stop worrying about dangers and shift into connection mode, a condition called psychological safety.

It’s possible to predict performance by ignoring all the informational content in the exchange and focusing on a handful of belonging cues.

the content of the pitch didn’t matter as much as the set of cues with which the pitch was delivered and received. (When the angel investors viewed the plans on paper—

How much does this person believe in this idea? How confident are they when speaking? How

determined are they to make this work?

Everyone in the group talks and listens in roughly equal measure, keeping contributions short.

Members maintain high levels of eye contact, and their conversations and gestures are energetic. Members communicate directly with one another, not just with the team leader. Members carry on back-channel or side conversations within the team. Members periodically break, go exploring outside the team, and bring information back to share with the others.

Group performance depends on behavior that communicates one powerful overarching idea: We are safe and connected.

belonging needs to be continually refreshed and reinforced—

We are close, we are safe, we share a future.

Cohesion happens not when members of a group are smarter but when they are lit up by clear, steady signals of safe connection.

I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.

Personal, up-close connection (body language, attention, and behavior that translates as I care about you) Performance feedback (relentless coaching and criticism that translates as We have high standards here) Big-picture perspective (larger conversations about politics, history, and food that translate as Life is bigger than basketball)

At distances of less than eight meters, communication frequency rises off the charts.

laughter; it’s the most fundamental sign of safety and connection.

sending a really clear signal that you have weaknesses, that you could use help.