The Kiss Quotient (The Kiss Quotient, #1)

by Helen Hoang

They say writing is a solitary task. And that’s true. You sit down, and you write alone.

No matter what Stella did, she was always a few steps short of being successful in her mother’s eyes and therefore her own, too.

Because she hated to say no, she’d said yes.

Work fascinated her, channeled the furious craving in her brain. It was also therapeutic.

There was something young and wholesome about her,

Her eyes shot to his face, and Michael lost his train of thought.

She greeted him like he was . . . an equal.

Damned if he didn’t have a thing for smart girls.

She’d somehow gotten prettier during the course of their discussion.

This girl was different. It was that spark in her eyes. He wanted to take his time and see if he could make her shine with a different kind of excitement.

Tears gutted him like nothing else. He wrapped himself around her. When she tried to shrink away, he held her tighter.

“So you’re saying I’m your Achilles’ heel?” He kind of liked the sound of that. They’d never see each other after tonight, but maybe she’d remember him. He knew he’d remember her.

Because she preferred being dressed, needed the tight restriction of fabric to feel safe. Because she didn’t like her body. Because every time she was naked with a man, he ended up using and discarding her.

“Girls like you don’t need escorts. Girls like you have boyfriends. You need to get this idea out of your head.”

He didn’t know anything about girls like her.

“That’s completely untrue. Girls like me intimidate boyfriends away. Girls like me have never been asked out by a single boy. Girls like me have to find their own way, make their own luck. I’ve had to fight for e...

Once her mind was made up, it was made up. The only one she wanted was Michael,

How was she supposed to get better if her problem kept driving away the people who could help her?

How come she never understood people?

She sank to the floor and hugged her knees to her chest to keep the loneliness at bay.

She ached so badly to be held it felt like a sickness had invaded her muscles and bones. As usual, her own arms provided little comfort.

She’d looked at him like she saw no one else.

This was what happened when you kept secrets. People drew their own conclusions.

He was an obsession waiting to happen.

“We’re not going to go around your problems. We’re going to go through them.”

She wasn’t what he’d thought he’d always wanted, but she was perfect.

This moment, this woman, and his undeniable attraction to her were all real.

Like this, she was almost too beautiful to be real.

She didn’t usually enjoy new things, but Michael made her feel safe.

There was something novel and wonderful about being in a crowd and not feeling alone.

You seem so perfect to me.”

I relax with you because of the way you treat me, because you’re you,” she said with certainty.

New things are scary for me, but with you, I can handle them and even enjoy them.

Every new response he earned from Stella felt special,

She always strove to be good to people.

She hadn’t teased him, and she hadn’t laughed. Instead, she’d been impressed with his work and with him—the real him. No one wanted the real him. Only Stella.

Stella was pretty, and she didn’t know it. She was also smart, sweet, caring, brave,

For several stomach-twisting moments, she ran through her list of presocialization reminders: think before you talk (anything and everything can be an insult to someone; when in doubt, say nothing), be nice, sitting on your hands prevents fidgeting and feels good, make eye contact, smile (no teeth, that’s scary), don’t start thinking about work, don’t let yourself talk about work (no one wants to hear about it), please and thank you, apologize with feeling.

“You can’t hurt someone when they don’t have a heart,”

With other people, she didn’t care what they thought. With Michael, she desperately needed to be accepted.

She had a disorder, but it didn’t define her. She was Stella. She was a unique person.

I never mean to hurt people, but I do it all the time.

These people mattered to her because they mattered to him.

Her beautiful mind focused on him. Michael admitted to himself he loved it.

These were things he’d spent his entire adult life avoiding, but with Stella, he might be ready for them. If she wanted them, too.

She needed to think at all times, to weigh her actions and her words. When she let go, she always made mistakes. She did the wrong thing, hurt people, mortified herself.

How do you know me so well?” His hot breath fanned over her ear as he chuckled. “You are my favorite puzzle lately.

It hit her then that he truly wanted this, her. He liked what he saw.

She didn’t know how to explain that it was on the inside that she was feeling naked. If he looked into her eyes, he’d see all of her, the person she kept hidden away. No one wanted to see that. This was supposed to be fun and educational, not soul-baring.

Sweet Stella, my Stella.”