Drumline

by Stacy Kestwick

I wanted to know her everything. I wanted to fucking be her everything.

“But sometimes playing it safe is bullshit.” Eli said the words like a judge delivering a verdict. “It’s like cancer. Sometimes, you have to kill all the cells, the good ones and the bad ones, and start over again from scratch. And that’s the part that hurts the worst, the time when you just want to fucking give up because of all the pain, but you can’t. You have to be strong because you know once you’re on the other side, it’ll be even better than it was before. And you can be happy again.

If Garrett hadn’t died, I wouldn’t be at Rodner. I wouldn’t have met Laird. I wouldn’t have fallen in love for the first time. How messed up was it that I owed all the good things in the last few months to Laird’s biggest loss?