Ghosted

by J.M. Darhower

It’s loving someone enough to set them free.

And I get it, you know, if you hate me. Wouldn’t blame you at all. But I just need to tell you… I need you to know… that even when I was completely fucked up, I never once stopped loving you.”

“Ah, little Maddie,” she says. “A bit of a handful, that kid, but what do you expect? Look at her parents.”

“I don’t care what else you do in the future, even when you’re the biggest movie star in the world… the dead kid on Law & Order will always be my favorite part you’ve played.”

“I’m your dad.”

“I know what you’re saying, but we do just fine without your money.” “Come on, don’t be that way, K.” “What way?” “That way. I want to help.” “So be a father, not a paycheck.”

“I wasn’t accusing you of cheating. I just wanted to know how long it took you to move on.” “Oh, well, that’s an easy one,” he says. “It hasn’t happened.”

I’m secure in my manhood. I have no qualms playing with dolls. So when Madison shoves a Barbie at me, I don’t even balk. I’ll give her the best goddamn Barbie performance she ever saw, if that’s what she wants.

“But why can’t you stay?” Because I fucked up years ago and I don’t know if I can ever make things right again.

“I hate you,” she says, her voice shaking. “I’ve never hated someone as much as I hate you, Jonathan.”

You’re the queen. I’m just a commoner.

Mom & Dad, I know you’re gonna be upset when you realize I’m gone, but please don’t worry too much. I’m okay. I’m with Jonathan. Love you both, Kennedy

She’s worried, and she’s scared, that this won’t be a story of triumph. Because she believes in you. She wouldn’t be there if she didn’t. But the world isn’t always kind to good people. Sometimes it eats them alive.

“All I said was thanks.” “You didn’t say it with meaning,” she calls back at him. “It’s no wonder you haven’t gotten an Oscar. You’re terrible.”

“You could stay home,” he says. “Maybe even write, whatever you want to do.” “That’s not going to pay the bills.” “But I can.”

‘love doesn’t know titles.’

“I’m here,” I say, “and I’m not going anywhere.” “I want to believe that.” “You can.”

“Because I love you,” he says. “More than whiskey?” I ask. “More than whiskey,” he agrees. “More than cocaine.” “More than models-slash-actresses?”

I had a kid to worry about then, but I was too worried about myself to do anything about it.

I always knew it, yeah, but I never really understood that I was her Breezeo.

You’re on a collision course, Jonathan. You’re hurling toward something none of us can see in the darkness, but whatever it is, it’s going to hurt. You think you’re in control, that you’re soaring, but you’re in a free-fall, and you don’t hear me when I try to warn you.

You don’t know this, but the woman you love? The one you hung around for in New York when she was still just a girl, even though you were suffering, and wanting to go, but you stayed because of love? That woman, right now, is doing the same thing for you.

Because the last time I gave my heart to him, he crushed it.

“Don’t be,” I say. “It taught me something important.” “What’s that?” “Never make someone else the main character in your own story.”

“I love you, Daddy. More than all the Breezeo movies ever.” “I love you, too,” he says, hugging her back. “More than everything in the world.”

And you don’t know this, but that woman you don’t care about anymore? The one whose world you just shattered? She’s pregnant. She’s having your baby, Jonathan. And you don’t even know. You don’t even care.

It became the story of a wandering man, one whose dream was killing him. It became the story of a heartbroken woman, one who found her purpose.

Ten years ago, you ran away with me so I could follow my dream. It’s time you follow yours. Wherever it takes you, I’ll be there. Happy Dreamiversary. Jonathan

Rain fell from the overcast sky in sporadic bursts, quick manic showers followed by moments of nothingness. The weatherman on channel six had predicted a calm day, but the woman knew better. A tumultuous storm was rolling in. There was no way to avoid it.

You have a daughter, Jonathan, and you don’t even know.