I would like to tell you that I am such a master of my destiny that I contrived the entire situation, that I made myself crazy so Zoë could calm me on this trip, and thus would be distracted from her own agitation. Truth be told, however, I have to admit I was glad she was holding me; I was very afraid, and I was grateful for her care.
AFTER saying a hero needs to be flawed and overcome challenges it is a little too obvious to have the narrator tell of his own flaws and challe,ges as if toi insinuate that he is indeed the hero.

