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Preview — Glitter and Glue by Kelly Corrigan
But now I see there’s no such thing as a woman, one woman. There are dozens inside every one of them. I probably should’ve figured this out sooner, but what child can see the women inside her mom, what with all that Motherness blocking out everything else?
So true-- painful and beautiful. It took so long to really "see" my own mother. And it's so easy to judge our mothers, through our own "enlightened" mother eyes.
sturdy though my mother was, she must have been gutted by the sound and sight and sheer vibration of her rabid daughter roaring, I HATE YOU! I HATE YOUR GUTS! I HATE YOU FOREVER! I had thought a good mother would not elicit such comments, but now I see that a good mother is required to somehow absorb all this ugliness and find a way to fall back in love with her child the next day.
Wowowow! Really hits home. Falling back in love, is that much more challenging, with a child who pushes back, or who you struggle with. It's a life long love affair.
Of course, maybe there’s nothing about any of us that doesn’t in some small way touch back to our mothers. God knows, every day I spend with the Tanners, I feel like I’m opening a tiny flap on one of those advent calendars we used to hang in the kitchen every December 1, except instead of revealing Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus, it’s my mother. I can’t see all of her yet, but window by window, she is emerging.
What is it about a living mother that makes her so hard to see, to feel, to want, to love, to like? What a colossal waste that we can only fully appreciate certain riches—clean clothes, hot showers, good health, mothers—in their absence.
Do we wait for our mothers to die, before we set aside our egos enough to acknowledge their role in who we are? And are our mother's riches only measured in tasks and things she did? Laundry, good healthy, etc?? This, this is heart wrenching.