Seven stands there, half asleep, dark hair a mess, wearing only a pair of red boxer shorts with elves on them. Elves, Christmas ones, the pointy-eared little fuckers that work for Santa. He’s got elves on his shorts, holding little packages, the words ‘Merry Elfin Christmas’ written all around them. I tilt my head to the side, staring at them. Have I mentioned it’s nearing the end of January?

