“Dude, I’m not Spliff Star. What am I gonna do?!” “Just rap Busta Rhymes songs.” “But I don’t know any of the lyrics.” “It doesn’t matter. These people don’t speak English.” “Aw, fuck.” I got up onstage and Tom did some terrible beat-boxing—“Bff ba-dff, bff bff ba-dff”—while I stumbled through some Busta Rhymes lyrics that I made up as I went along. The audience erupted with cheers and applause. An American rapper had come to Hammanskraal, and it was the most epic thing they had ever seen. So that’s Tom.
