The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery

by Ian Morgan Cron

area of expertise, tap into their fertile imagination and interior life, and make it possible for them to establish emotional connections with others. They dislike uniformity, regulation, and an abundance of rules and expectations.

They won’t necessarily be resentful if you don’t implement something they suggest as long as it’s clear you heard and understood their idea.

As leaders Fours make decisions on the basis of feelings and intuition, which can freak data-oriented people out, and they lead by force of personality, which can intimidate the people who work for them.

Their ability to bring compatible people together and create a climate of collaboration versus competition is invaluable. They’re inspiring and bring out what’s special in others.

Finally, if you work for a Four, be real. Inauthentic or frivolous people are invisible to them.

Fours with a dominant Three wing want to be both the most unique and the best. Their energy is competitive, and they have enough of the Three’s image-consciousness that they are more aware than other Fours of the need to dial back their emotional intensity and quirky idiosyncrasies to be socially acceptable.

With the added energy of the Three, two things are likely: first, they will be more outgoing, which translates to overly dramatic; and second, they are usually more productive, turning dreams and ideas into reality.

Often these Fours have more frequent mood swings than Four...

Fours in stress will begin to look and act like unhealthy Twos.

Here they repress their own needs and become excessively dependent on others.

Fours in security take on the traits of a healthy One, where they stop talking about their creative ideas and actually become disciplined enough to buckle down and realize them.

Their sense of identity has never been quite stable, as they’ve tried on one after another like suits looking for the right fit.

first, Fours need to hear this loud and clear: there’s nothing missing. It may be hard to believe, but God didn’t ship them here with a vital part absent from their essential makeup. Fours arrived on life’s doorstep with the same equipment everyone else did. The kingdom is inside them too. Everything they need is here.

They must learn how to regulate and stabilize their emotions.

To do this Fours need to cultivate what’s called equanimity, a sorely ignored virtue in the Christian tradition. Equanimity refers to the ability to remain emotionally composed and steady regardless of what’s happening around us.

I am not my feelings.

For Fours an important healing message is “We see you. You’re beautiful. Don’t be ashamed.”

Have you ever seen the soft gaze that comes over a mother’s face when she’s looking into the eyes of her newborn? Fours need to remember this is how God looks at them. God sees, hears and understands them, and their identity can only be found in him. They should never settle for less.