The Chaos of Longing (First Edition)

by K.Y. Robinson

i felt invisible. unlovable. a petal punctured by the thorn on his side even though we bloomed from the same concrete.

they say that patience is a virtue but they never tell you that the heat of waiting will burn you if you linger too long.

i am afraid that you’ll see that i’m the haunted house at the end of the street that no one wants to visit unless it’s halloween.

it took time to realize that i have to stop giving myself away as if i didn’t belong to myself.

healing requires every cell in your body but i’m so used to dealing with myself in fragments.

your mental health is as delicate as porcelain. it only takes one misstep for it to shatter and render you motionless. into shards of nothingness. there are days you’ll wish to un-breathe every breath, unopen your eyes and fade into black. i beg of you to keep filling your air with lungs. line the darkness with stars until the sun rises again. your heart of gold will repair the broken pieces.

there’s a universe swirling inside you.

you are a natural phenomenon— not a natural disaster.

it’s time to give the love you denied yourself but frantically searched for in others. it’s time to realize that love was never trapped underneath their lips and fingertips. you held it hostage the entire time.