Quiet Leadership: Winning Hearts, Minds and Matches

by Carlo Ancelotti

I read that Bill Parcells, the legendary American football head coach, believed that ‘everybody has the will to win but only the best have the will to prepare to win’.

I’ve learned that getting sacked – and getting recruited, for that matter – is rarely just about you. It is always about the person hiring or firing you. Do your job to the best of your ability and let others judge you because they will anyway.

I remember a small incident with Fábio Coentrão, when he complained that another player was not working hard enough. I asked him, ‘Who do you compare yourself to? Is it to the player who is not working or the sixteen who are?’ Straight away, he knew. Reference the leaders because they are the ones who will help your career.

Sometimes a relationship just gets tired and it’s time to move on. Don’t over internalize this, everything has a cycle. The key is to be as productive as possible in each cycle.

Speaking truth to power has to be an acceptable behaviour. Leaders have to enable it for their own benefit. It is not a ‘nice to have’, it is essential.

Find a solution, don’t waste time looking ...

Respect is everything. It is a daily currency that can go up and down in direct relation to your behaviour and choices. Take it seriously.

Don’t always be obsessed with drawing loyalty from the people with whom you work. Aim to inspire greater performance in the moment and focus on showing that you really care about them as people and their professional growth.

‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast,’

is people who warrant our loyalty – not organizations. With organizations, it’s always just business.

Cliques are unacceptable; eventually, you will have to break them so make it clear from the outset that integration is the only way to win.

You don’t always need what you think you want. Change can be liberating; don’t resist it just for the sake of it. You will inspire new people very early in the process by making them believe they are still here for a real reason.

You need to trust in order to delegate.

Your job is not to motivate the talent – they should find this within themselves – your job is not to demotivate them.

The difference between culture and climate is that we want the former to be permanent but we know that the latter can be changeable.

am reminded of what Paul Clement told me about the World Cup-winning English rugby coach Clive Woodward. He said that there are two kinds of people – energizers and energy sappers.

Of course, I could make new, explicit rules. I have that power, in theory. I could tell the players, ‘We now train at seven in the morning,’ but this is not the right way. This is just to show power. It is always best to use soft power, quiet power with the players, to influence and have them follow the implicit rules because they believe in them.

Kill feuds as quickly as possible. Top talent can be very fragile, sustained conflict can seriously change the energy of the group.

I am convinced that ‘getting things done’ in a job is integrally linked to the speed and focus with which decisions are made.

Get the players to agree to the rules at the outset, but then it is my job to hold them to their own rules. The negotiation and flexibility come in the decision-making, but the strictness is applied once the decision has been made.

One thing that I work on constantly and where I think I have improved with greater experience is my tendency at times to be too patient. Sometimes I can take a little too long to make the decision. I like to think coolly about such things, take in all the angles, but I can certainly overthink the situation. Sometimes I should use less rationality and more instinct. But then again, sometimes it pays to be patient. It is all about getting the right balance.

While it is important to look back and analyse where things have gone wrong, it is vital not to dwell unnecessarily on them. This will kill you.

Managing the conflicting ideas and egos of talented players and owners is one of the core attributes of a quiet leader. It is my guiding notion that it is simply rational to concentrate only on those things you can affect. Those that are out of your control must be rejected for consideration.

The attitude is key, even if you’re winning. You cannot always control the result, but you can control your attitude, and this is why it makes me angry.

Listening is an often overlooked skill.

A member of your organization being engaged is not enough; they have to be aligned with your wider goals as well. Neither is sufficient by itself.

Patience is not always a virtue; don’t wait too long to make a difficult decision.

Soft power is the most effective. Dictatorsh...

Intensity is good. But remember, you don’t have to be miserable to be serious.

One thing I believe to the fullest is that if you think and achieve as a team, the individual accolades will take care of themselves. Talent wins games but teamwork and intelligence win championships.

As the Eagles say about Hotel California, you might be able to check out, but leaving isn’t an option.

Stability is king, goes the myth. Not so, says Mike Forde, who argues that organizations should simply accept that the talent will leave.

The new reality is that leaders should be seeking productivity in the present, not loyalty for the future.

Leave the club, team, business or organization in better shape than when you found it: that’s surely the most anyone can ask.