Lady You're Not a Man: The Adventures of a Woman at Work

by Apurva Purohit

Fortunately, with more women around, things have changed and slowly a new breed of women managers is emerging, people who are as comfortable with being feminine (without overdoing it) as they are with being efficient taskmasters. They celebrate the softer touch they are able to bring to managing people, the consensus-building approach they have in decision-making and the emotional connect they can forge with their colleagues. And they do so without being ashamed of their hormones, emotions or nurturing nature. (PMS is part and parcel of our lives—so what if we get mood swings once in a while?)

successful managers I know. So, dear ladies, the first lesson of acceptance is to admit to ourselves that there is nothing wrong with being a woman, and the entire package that comes along with it—volatile feelings, soft heart, sharp tongue, belly fat, et al!

The only difference is that instead of feeling guilty for leaving their child behind, they are now feeling guilty for wasting their education and the degrees they worked so hard at getting. The question to ask, then, is: which guilt are you more comfortable with? Because being guilt-free is a no-option for a woman.

And that’s when I realized that it is we mothers who keep holding on to our perceived flaws, carrying them around as a basketful of regrets. Our children have (mostly) long forgotten, forgiven and moved on.

Lesson number two in the path to acceptance, therefore, is to not fight against the guilt monster but accept it as part and parcel of your life, a beast that will constantly follow you wherever you go and whatever you do. If you are going to feel guilty anyway, you may as well do so for something which also makes you feel good about yourself. Like continuing being a working mom!

how women possibly demean their own selves by projecting a stay-at-home parent’s role as a lesser one; and

In the emerging world, the skills that are associated with women are going to be more important for survival than the traits that men are usually credited with.

Women are late bloomers, as we just saw. Only as we grow older do we become more confident and assertive in our relationships. For a large part of our lives, we actually remain tentative and unsure of ourselves. Indeed, there are very few women I have met who accept themselves completely or are content with the way they are.

Since the starting point of any endeavour lies within us, if we have to learn to modify ourselves and our environment to suit our needs, the foremost thing to do is to start off with a positive mindset. So, step one in adapting is winning the battle in our minds.

Oftentimes, there will be things that will not go our way, but we have to keep pushing, striving and trying. Unfortunately, many times, when the going gets tough, the first battle we lose is the one in our mind. We start creating mental ghosts and presupposing the worst.

Working hard and persevering at every stage in our lives is a non-negotiable factor if we want to succeed. As someone once said, ‘It’s amazing that the more I work the luckier I get!’ It’s certainly not for the faint-hearted, this entire process of being mummy, wife and ideal employee. But if one persists diligently, all the hard work does pay off and ultimately translates into success.

Your boss is not your mother; get all the mollycoddling you want at home. Be a true professional and don’t expect indulgence at work.

Women simply find it very difficult to say good things about themselves, mostly under the assumption that they will be seen to be bragging if they compliment themselves. While men, of course, believe it is their God-given right to do so. And maybe they are not too wrong in this thinking.