Ice Planet Barbarians (Ice Planet Barbarians, #1)

by Ruby Dixon

I bank the fire with a large log so it will provide warmth for many hours, and then I move to her side and pick her up, carrying her to the far end of the cave with me, where we will have some privacy.

Oh naur

I push my fingers into her soft folds, seeking that strange third nipple.

NOT THE STRANGE THIRD NIPPLE

“Eyethnkthyr dewinnit,” whispers a voice on the other side of the room. “Dunlook,” says another. “Gohbcktewsleep.” “Eyebeteez gotta monstrdick!”

I am living for these

And that little disappointed sigh is the only reason I don’t get up and toss the other humans out of the cave.

Men amiright

I cover her small body with my larger one, and her legs go to my waist, her feet brushing against my flicking tail.

Forgot about the tail :|

“Vektal,” she breathes, and there’s excitement in her voice. New excitement. “Izzit a spays ship?”

Ohhhh shiiiit

Vektal stops me with a gentle hand. He points at the firewood pile in the fire pit, still unlit. Oh. Fire will melt things faster. He’s right.

You would be nothing without this man

It’s cold and horrible, and I don’t know if I want to stay here when there’s a ride home.

Bitch get it together

“That is one of the functions of this unit,” it says in an amicable tone. “Would you like to learn the sakh dialect he is speaking?” “You . . . you can teach me?” “I can perform a one-time linguistic upload. Would you like to do this?”

How fucking convenient

Georgie talks of leaving me as if she does not feel as I do. As if her heart is not torn apart at the very thought of being separated. My khui brought us together, but I am proud to have her as my mate. I want no other. Not now, not ever. It is unthinkable.

I need to get to this fucking planet

I trace my fingers down her soft cheek. Does she not realize? Anywhere she goes, I will gladly follow. She is my heart, my resonance, my soul. My mate. It grieves me she is so miserable here, with me.

I really need therapy

Ah. My thumb strokes over her full mouth. “And because my cock makes you cry out with such pleasure?”

That too!

“It is this. Only you call to it. Only you make my khui hum in my breast with happiness. It is a sign that one’s mate has been found.”

I WANNA CALL TO SOMEONES KHUI

“It is easy,” I tell her, pressing my face to her leather-covered body. Even through her coverings, I can smell her wonderful scent. I long to taste her again. “Accept the khui. Accept me.”

ACCEPT HIM DUMBASS

My hand goes to Vektal’s waist, and I slide it down his back until I encounter the bump of his tail base. I circle it and caress it absently.

Weird

Oops. Did I just give him the sa-khui equivalent of a public handy?

Jesus fucking christ

“Mother, why is its face so ugly?” A tiny voice asks. Voices raise to hush it.

Even alien kids are the fuckin worst

“Who did you share furs with before you, er, resonated?” I ask, wondering if it’s taboo to bring it up. But her expression is guileless as she looks up at me. “Why, Vektal of course.”

Obviously dumbass

feel a surge of affection for the big guy. Totally getting a handy tonight.

Dude

“My spur?” I ask, chuckling. I’m aroused by the thought of taking her in this way. It’s not done with my people. Not when we have tails that get in the way.

Oh of course not

“No. You can’t make me pregnant. I’m not due for my period . . . oh fuck,” she says in her own language. “Fuck! FUCK!! I’m never late! FUCK!!!”

I can handle alien porn but i cannot handle a pregnancy trope

“I’m kind of biased in one direction because . . . I’m pregnant. With Vektal’s baby. He’s resonating for me, and apparently it means that, despite the fact that we’re not the same species, he can get me pregnant. So I want to stay.”

Shes CONFIRMED pregnant?????

“Like, hey, someone buttered my roll while you guys were waiting for me to return, and he left a few crumbs behind?” Liz cracks.

Am i reading poetry

“My resonance,” I murmur between kisses. “You fill me with joy.”

Such an angel

“A sa-kohtsk is near. A large one.”

A WHAT

“The aliens are coming back,” she tells me. “We need to leave.”

RUH ROH

“They cannot live long out in the cold,” he tells me. “We must make an incision in your neck and give the khui a safe place to reside.”

Beats eating it

“What is that noise?” “It is you,” he says. “Your khui sings for me.”

YEEEESSSS