Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids

by Meghan Daum

As Jeanne Safer so poignantly describes in her essay, she didn’t really want to have a baby; she wanted to want to have a baby.

I think this is a line that resonates with me a lot. It's natural to want to want to have a child because that's everyone's expectation from you and it can be hard to reconcile our innermost reluctance with everyone's expectations.